I know am a bad bloger sorry about not posting anything really haven't had the time or even felt like anything .
so what's been going on in my life start with the easy bit
Mums been away with Ben & Mark in Scotland had a nice quiet holiday no stress or hassle Ben spent a fair amount of time on his mobile if there's a signal to is girlfriend were all surprised its lasted over two months now
Lisa must have something special . mark well he`s never mentioned a girlfriend or anything like that dont think hes all that bothered really. My mum s fine made her cry a few weeks ago I know am a bad lad making their mum cry I found some old camera negatives at my aunties house from like over 20 years back and had them developed some were a bit damaged and had to be destroyed but allot were ok so I got a photo album and stuck them in mum thought it was wonderful so not such a bad lad after all in fact a grate son am not sure about that ..
at work well its dragging on I will admit I have been looking at other jobs on various job websights just lucking by the way does get boring someday s then again I guess all jobs have the boring bits dont they.
now for the bad bits
Scot well we had a bit of a fall out couple of weeks ago and it`s sort of changed things think the word fall out is putting it lightly wont tell you how i found out but since we have been together he`s had sex with an ex Greg 5-6 times we did do something months ago the 3 of us but it was just greg sucking me and scot off .. I now know that was planed weeks before that just made me mad at Scot .I will admit I didnt have I high opinion of Greg before he`s the kind who caries his brains in his bollocks will try and fuck any guy who takes his fancy me included .anyway I just wanted to have it out with both of them .
Scot being Scot got all defensive blaming everything on Greg and am not that stupid to believe he`s totally blameless .
Greg on the other hand didnt care less thought it was all a big joke and am not proud of it but I just dragged him into his garden and laid into Greg like a cowed he just curled into a ball broke his nose and chipped a few teeth again am not proud of that at all . it took scot and a neighbour to drag me away and I left them to it
I honestly didn't care less at the time.
I was then in stuck didn`t know where I was going to go didnt want to go to the flat didnt want to go running back to mum and it was late so I just kipped in the car.next morning I had to get changed and freshen up so i went back to the flat.
scot was there not been to bed told me about Greg going to hospital also told him to forget pressing charges
as he wont back him up and the neighbour cant stand him scot asked me is it over between us then I didnt know I told him I needed some time and it would be better if I went to a mates for a bit I think scot was dreading this happening he hates being alone but I needed to be alone again I didnt want to go to mums shed just want to break Scots legs so I went to tonys he`s some one I can tell anything been a good mate to me took me under his wing when I was at my lowest .
a few days past and scot had text a few times I was worried about him by then so I dropped in after about the 4th day the flat was in a right state furniture was pulled down of the wall I was gutted it took me ages
to put all the furniture up in the first place then I herd scot in the bedroom he didnt look good also there was a few bottles on the floor I asked if he was ok oh am fine he said trying to be funny so sitting with him I told him what I wanted I wanted to move into the spare room for a while but I still loved him loads he said he`d never hurt me again as he got out of bed I noticed the scot had been self harming thats one of his older issues
that scot has done since he was about 15 this I have tried to understand since scot told me months ago I just huged him he`s seeing someone about his self harming , his drinking thats got worse lately so he`s trying to sort that out also he`s fallen behind with bills that should have been paid months ago .
am sorry if this post has been a bit depressing but its gradually improving there is another post soon in the next day or so
love to everyone
Lee
so what's been going on in my life start with the easy bit
Mums been away with Ben & Mark in Scotland had a nice quiet holiday no stress or hassle Ben spent a fair amount of time on his mobile if there's a signal to is girlfriend were all surprised its lasted over two months now
Lisa must have something special . mark well he`s never mentioned a girlfriend or anything like that dont think hes all that bothered really. My mum s fine made her cry a few weeks ago I know am a bad lad making their mum cry I found some old camera negatives at my aunties house from like over 20 years back and had them developed some were a bit damaged and had to be destroyed but allot were ok so I got a photo album and stuck them in mum thought it was wonderful so not such a bad lad after all in fact a grate son am not sure about that ..
at work well its dragging on I will admit I have been looking at other jobs on various job websights just lucking by the way does get boring someday s then again I guess all jobs have the boring bits dont they.
now for the bad bits
Scot well we had a bit of a fall out couple of weeks ago and it`s sort of changed things think the word fall out is putting it lightly wont tell you how i found out but since we have been together he`s had sex with an ex Greg 5-6 times we did do something months ago the 3 of us but it was just greg sucking me and scot off .. I now know that was planed weeks before that just made me mad at Scot .I will admit I didnt have I high opinion of Greg before he`s the kind who caries his brains in his bollocks will try and fuck any guy who takes his fancy me included .anyway I just wanted to have it out with both of them .
Scot being Scot got all defensive blaming everything on Greg and am not that stupid to believe he`s totally blameless .
Greg on the other hand didnt care less thought it was all a big joke and am not proud of it but I just dragged him into his garden and laid into Greg like a cowed he just curled into a ball broke his nose and chipped a few teeth again am not proud of that at all . it took scot and a neighbour to drag me away and I left them to it
I honestly didn't care less at the time.
I was then in stuck didn`t know where I was going to go didnt want to go to the flat didnt want to go running back to mum and it was late so I just kipped in the car.next morning I had to get changed and freshen up so i went back to the flat.
scot was there not been to bed told me about Greg going to hospital also told him to forget pressing charges
as he wont back him up and the neighbour cant stand him scot asked me is it over between us then I didnt know I told him I needed some time and it would be better if I went to a mates for a bit I think scot was dreading this happening he hates being alone but I needed to be alone again I didnt want to go to mums shed just want to break Scots legs so I went to tonys he`s some one I can tell anything been a good mate to me took me under his wing when I was at my lowest .
a few days past and scot had text a few times I was worried about him by then so I dropped in after about the 4th day the flat was in a right state furniture was pulled down of the wall I was gutted it took me ages
to put all the furniture up in the first place then I herd scot in the bedroom he didnt look good also there was a few bottles on the floor I asked if he was ok oh am fine he said trying to be funny so sitting with him I told him what I wanted I wanted to move into the spare room for a while but I still loved him loads he said he`d never hurt me again as he got out of bed I noticed the scot had been self harming thats one of his older issues
that scot has done since he was about 15 this I have tried to understand since scot told me months ago I just huged him he`s seeing someone about his self harming , his drinking thats got worse lately so he`s trying to sort that out also he`s fallen behind with bills that should have been paid months ago .
am sorry if this post has been a bit depressing but its gradually improving there is another post soon in the next day or so
love to everyone
Lee
It's been a rough time for you. I hope things improve.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear aboutthe breakup, althought I feel you were right in doing what you did.
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, I think it is time to put on the boots and have a 'night on the town'.
Love you,
Jay storyman3119
Thinking of you Lee. You have aways been so nice. Things will get better.
ReplyDeleteDJ
Oh man, not good, but it sounds like you're being mature and Scot is at least trying, so hopefully things will get back to normal. Just remember, you are not to blame for Scot hurting himself - you are responsible first for you and your well-being, and taking some time away was probably a good thing for you to do. Let time heal the wounds.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
thank you everyone
ReplyDelete@jay scot has been harming for years was just a shocked as it had got worse i know am not to blame
scot was at his lowest alone .
@ DJ its good to hear from you it always is .
story jay I have been out few gay pride events
planing on helping out at a Manchester event . will tell in next post .
Lee,
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about the turbulence in your life.
You're a good kid and will pull through...you will attract good people (as you do with your blog.)
Major hugz from across the pond!
Love,
-Andy
(ps, Hi DJ!!!)
You doing ok, Lee?
ReplyDeleteSomething's up with my google account and I'm struggling to post a comment
HUGS
Richard (with the sax picture)