ITS NOT EVEN REAL .....

Life is plodding on work is fine sort of working with Alan which am glad about has been back a few weeks now
the baby is having a rough time not sleeping well at all also the baby has had a few health scares had to be put on a drip for a while that really upset him and Sam  its not a good situation for them to be in both are stressed out  think Alan is glad to be back working .


Ben is still loved up with Lisa its unbelievable started football training to and wants to join some teams  Lisa is the goal keeper for a girls under 14 team some of her team mates have had scout`s looking at them from football clubs
Stockport county , Bolton wanders, Rotherham lol     Marks been keeping busy over the summer staying over at his mate david`s house met him several times he`s 12 and nearly 6 ft tall  and is a bit of a looker  going to be popular in a few years  I can tell.

I know in the last post things Looked  not to good for me and scot  well am still in the spare room really that's how it should have been in the first place when we moved in together scot is keeping his head down at work
not that he`s been in trouble at work  just wants to do his hours. been helping him sort out his bills  Ive offered to pay some off but he`s still a bit to proud needs to sort it himself .also he`s been to his doctor About his self
harming I will admit that worried me a bit seeing someone you love to bits get in such a state . He is trying to get into my good books or pants lol but I've told him he`s trying to hard . Had a few good nights out on the town  also attended some gay pride events  even helping out fundraising at the Manchester pride selling raffle tickets  with  Tony an old friend  I will admit I  will be a bit nervous going to be thousands there and most screaming gay hate hate  kind   scot was like that when i first met him .want to enjoy the experience  have some fun . 

also Ive got hooked on some play station 3 games like WWE and fighting games  I even spent £35.00 on clothes and furniture for my aver tar  I know its not even real          

hardest post ever !!!!

I know am a bad bloger sorry about not posting anything really haven't had the time or even felt like anything .
so what's been going on in my life start with the easy bit
Mums been away with Ben & Mark in Scotland had a nice quiet holiday no stress or hassle Ben spent a fair amount of time on his mobile  if there's a signal to is girlfriend were all surprised its lasted over two months now
Lisa must have something  special .  mark well he`s never mentioned a girlfriend or anything like that dont think hes all that bothered really. My mum s fine made her cry a few weeks ago I know am a bad lad making their mum cry I found some old camera negatives at my aunties house from like over 20 years back and had them developed some were a bit damaged and had to be destroyed but allot were ok so I got a photo album  and stuck them in  mum thought it was wonderful so not such a bad lad after all in fact a grate son  am not sure about that ..

at work well its dragging on I will admit I have been looking at other jobs on various job websights  just lucking by the way does get boring someday s then again I guess all jobs have the boring bits dont they.

now for the bad bits

Scot well we had a bit of a fall out couple of weeks ago and it`s sort of changed things  think the word fall out  is putting it lightly wont tell you how i found out but since we have been together he`s had sex with  an ex Greg  5-6 times  we  did do something  months ago  the 3 of us but it was just  greg sucking me and scot off ..   I now know that was planed weeks before that just made me mad at Scot .I will admit I didnt have I high opinion of Greg before  he`s the kind who caries his brains in his bollocks  will try and fuck any guy who takes his fancy me included .anyway I just wanted to have it out with both of them .
Scot being Scot got all defensive blaming everything on Greg and am not that stupid to believe he`s totally blameless .
Greg on the other hand didnt care less thought it was all a big joke and am not proud of it but I just  dragged him into his garden and laid into Greg  like a cowed he just curled into a ball  broke his nose and chipped a few teeth again am not proud of that at all . it took scot and a neighbour to drag me away and I left them to it
I honestly didn't care less at the time.

I was then in stuck didn`t know where I was going to go didnt want to go to the flat didnt want to go running  back to mum and it was late so I just kipped in the car.next morning I had to get changed and freshen up  so i went back to the flat.

scot was there not been to bed  told me about Greg going to hospital also told him to forget pressing charges
as he wont back him up and the neighbour cant stand him   scot asked me is it over between us then  I didnt know I told him I needed some time and it would be better if I went to a mates for a bit  I think scot was dreading this happening he hates being alone  but I needed to be alone again I didnt want to go to mums shed just want to break Scots legs  so I went to tonys he`s some one I can tell anything been a good mate to me took me under his wing when I was at my lowest .

a few days past and scot had text a few times I was worried about him by then so I dropped in after about the 4th day the flat was in a right state  furniture was pulled down of the wall I was gutted it took me ages
to put all the furniture up in the first place then I herd scot in the bedroom he didnt look good also there was a few bottles on the floor I asked if he was ok   oh am fine he said trying to be funny  so sitting with him I told him what I wanted I wanted to move into the spare room for a while but I still loved him loads  he said he`d never hurt me again  as he got out of bed  I noticed the scot had been self harming thats one of his older issues
that scot has done since he was about 15 this  I have tried to understand  since scot told me months ago  I just huged him  he`s seeing someone about his self harming , his drinking thats got worse lately so he`s trying to sort that out also he`s fallen behind with bills that should have been paid months ago .

am sorry if this post has been a bit depressing  but its gradually improving  there is another post soon in the next day or so
                                                love to everyone
                                                                                   Lee      
       

         
          

helping hands.

hello
     been helping martin out today he does loft conversions and he`s several men down due to illness or holidays.
so Ive been helping with laying flooring down and fetching wood from builders yard .must admit its a hell of allot more physical than am used to even ended up with my shirt off I did have to explain bite marks on my shoulder
and chest to Craig the guy I was working with he`s 100% straight and no way was i telling him am gay the guys bloody huge so I just put up with his comments about being out on the shag with a lass if only he knew .

Met Sams baby he`s  lovely looks like Alan  and sam`s hair am sure I got a grin of him although it could be wind.

sam says he`s a noisy bleeder  gets that from Sam am sure .

mum is gob smacked that dad has come across he wedding photos not seen them in years mum did get a bit upset there were photos of her brother my uncle Kevin he died 17 yeas ago and mum only has a couple of photos of him  non with them together  but dad says his sister took loads and kept everyone  also ones with mum & dad together on there wedding day 21 years ago cant believe how young mum looks.

scot has been read the riot act by his boss for taking the holiday at such short notice 3 days notice he gave .
but he expected worse than a verbal & written warning but he says it was well worth it  told him about the bite marks on my chest and shoulder  he almost wet himself till I mentioned Craig thought it was a woman and I said nothing I did explain he was built like a brick shit house  and was most deficiently very homophobic.Think he understood .

Ben`s new girlfriend Lisa or Li as he calls her is not what I expected she`s like a tomboy into  football  supports man city cant have everything your way he supports united I think both teams are SHIT .Lisa is also a hard nut not a girl to mess with .
 

       

the wanderer returns sort of . ‬‏

been away on holiday we went to Rhodes  Lardos for a week late deal  just me and scot  had an amassing time.needed the rest to be honest just wanted to relax although the hotel we stooped at was horrible  but you cant have everything can you .
scot has to go and see his boss might get into trouble with work as he only gave like two days notice  my uncle told me I could go as Alan was on holiday so I would have been by myself all week.

At home Ben`s having a few problems at school with some people  but he`s doing well  with everything  and keeping his head down even managed to get himself a new girlfriend mark says its because she felt sorry for him.

dads been a bit down since he lost his big sister  but he`s keeping busy sorting all her things out like her money  and that .

finely Sam has had her baby  its a boy  David Alan  he was 6 weeks early .  
YouTube - ‪Summer Breeze - The Isley Brothers
thought it would be cool to post this  .‬‏

I am still hear

sorry I haven't posted anything  an Aunty has past away `dads sister ` he`s a bit cut up as she was the older sister  I hadn't seen her for a few years  but I  used to be terrified of her  she has always been big boned  weighed about  20 stone  and she used to chase me around  I was about 6 by the way and she was always giving me wet sloppy kisses I hated it . its sad that she`s gone she was only 60  dad says she`d not been that well
the past couple years . she lived in Scotland  moved up there in the 70s with her husband  my uncle  didn't see allot  of him  and dad didn't speak to highly of him .
but at least I able to support dad I will admit am not the most comforting person in he word  but I did my best .     

new rooms

Hey .
       Thanks for the comments from last post  they really do help .
Ben has to go see the school tomorrow with mum & martin and he`s looking positive  he has  done most of the hard work giving the money back in person some dint want it back and wanted nothing else to do with him .
others gladly took the money back but still want nothing to do with him  understandable I guess .
the I POD he took was given back last week..Ben has told mum that part of the reason was he`s not getting on with a few people at school Mark has said this also Ben also says he took the sweater from the market  for a bet
and that he wishes he`d not gone away in the first place  I know none of this is a good excuse for stealing  but  at least he`s owning up to it.   its been decided that Ben & mark should have their own bedroom as I've moved out now  it was going to happen anyway   just that its done now gives the boys some space  Mark has my old room  he`s more than happy  he needs the lock taken off the door mum wont have him locking it
it took me 18 months for mum to let me have the bedroom locked so mark would have no chance then again
he`s got nothing to hide .

Work has been ok Sam has now gone on maternity leave  she still has a few mounts before she`s due  but she
is going to take it easy and rest if she can .

Scot is doing allot off hours at work says he needs to put the hours in as his car insurance is up  also he wants
a week away abroad  cheap and cheerful  and hot  .
    

YouTube - The Cure - Catch
herd this song a couple of months back Alan lent me so of his cd`s

ONE YEAR ON .THANKS EVERYONE

So A year ago I began this thing didn't think it would last that long being honest didn't know what to expect  if anyone was interested  in the blog . don't think  iv`e done to bad
66 followers thank you for looking .
last month had the most page views  over 4,000
about 15 regular commenter's thank you all so much it means allot
the post about squeegy being ok had the most pages viewed I was a bit taken aback by that being honest nearly 23 thousand hits in the past 6 months .

my life a year ago I weren't up to much  life was a bit boring still is at times  I was a bit lost  still finding myself
was more or less excepting being gay last year it was i guess my little secrete only A handful of people knew outside family don't think I acted gay ever  the only person who`s guessed I was gay was Sam .

Dint have a bf  this time  last year  not even looking   didn't have allot of fun there was just the one guy
then Tim arrived officially had my cherry popped  then  wish i had waited a bit .

scot came along late September  didn't know what to make of him at first could tell he was gay a mile off.. today I love the guy to bits he`s my  first love my sole mate  sick bucket time I know .

family well  not much has changed I  did have issues with Lisa my step sister  but I found to heart to forgive .

Ben & Mark love them to bits although Mark is more mature  Ben's having a hard time at moment  he should be ok .


finally people who have commented hear .THANK YOU  to everyone who took the time out to comment  it
means allot


I would like to take this opportunity  to remember TIMMY  I admit I lost it when he left Its not something I deal with that well  hardly got to know him  that don't make it easer .

there are a couple off things that have happened in the year that I haven't even bothered to mention  things that
have left me feeling lost no knowing what to say or do but its best kept private