Am a bit annoyed at people lately mainly my dad . the reason am annoyed at my dad is he hasn't been honest last night I had a talk as I could feel something was wrong as dad was round again so I thought fuck it am going to find out why .maybe he`s seeing someone else wouldn't be the first time he`d done so .
Dad told me he was having some health problems and had been to see a doctor he was asked to go to the hospital last week for an xray exc and a specialist told him that he had a heart murmur something to do with a tube pumpimg blood into his heart & not enough blood is getting through Dad says its still early stages something can be done about it .
its pissed me off because he`s know since last Monday so it`s taken over a week to tell me also
he wanted mum to tell me .Id never been so angry with him I admit I told him what I really thought of him
that Martin `step dad ' had done more for me than he had .
after that I went to my room and sulked at my age .
Ad been hear before with mum you see when I was 13 she had cancer and had it weeks before she came round to telling me my reaction was as above get angry because I wasn't told straight away and it took martin to calm me down same as today he left me by myself for about half an hour and then check if i was OK. I came down again and dad was still hear so I sat with him on the sofa with mum on the chair and I just talked to him it didn't sink in to me how bad dad had felt how worried he was not just about telling me but what will happen next he knows that more test to be done and surgery is likelly dont like the sound of that .
I know that part of the problem is me
How I take news like this
why cant dad tell me sooner or worse at least tell me him self
I know part of it is he just couldnt find the heart to tell me knowing how I would react
scot says it couldnt have been easy to tell me something like that as I can be a bit stroppy at times
at his flat now am bloddy knacked put two wardrobes up a sideboard a toilet seat scot just sat and watched me I think today has done be good just finding things to do and relaxed in my pj`s slowlly geting pissed
ah the life .
Dad told me he was having some health problems and had been to see a doctor he was asked to go to the hospital last week for an xray exc and a specialist told him that he had a heart murmur something to do with a tube pumpimg blood into his heart & not enough blood is getting through Dad says its still early stages something can be done about it .
its pissed me off because he`s know since last Monday so it`s taken over a week to tell me also
he wanted mum to tell me .Id never been so angry with him I admit I told him what I really thought of him
that Martin `step dad ' had done more for me than he had .
after that I went to my room and sulked at my age .
Ad been hear before with mum you see when I was 13 she had cancer and had it weeks before she came round to telling me my reaction was as above get angry because I wasn't told straight away and it took martin to calm me down same as today he left me by myself for about half an hour and then check if i was OK. I came down again and dad was still hear so I sat with him on the sofa with mum on the chair and I just talked to him it didn't sink in to me how bad dad had felt how worried he was not just about telling me but what will happen next he knows that more test to be done and surgery is likelly dont like the sound of that .
I know that part of the problem is me
How I take news like this
why cant dad tell me sooner or worse at least tell me him self
I know part of it is he just couldnt find the heart to tell me knowing how I would react
scot says it couldnt have been easy to tell me something like that as I can be a bit stroppy at times
at his flat now am bloddy knacked put two wardrobes up a sideboard a toilet seat scot just sat and watched me I think today has done be good just finding things to do and relaxed in my pj`s slowlly geting pissed
ah the life .
G-Star,
ReplyDeleteTry not to be too hard on your father. It's tough for adults to tell their kids when something is wrong. My dad is 84, been in the hospital more times than you can count for various heart problems and surgeries. He doesn't want anyone to know until he's home! And then he doesn't want to tell you about it. Parents see themselves as invincible, I think, at least in their kids' eyes, so telling them they are sick can be difficult. It seems though, that he is trying to be more of a presence in your and your brothers' lives. Is that a good thing? You've been lucky that your stepdad has accepted and loved and raised you as his own. Lots of times, that isn't the case. But if your biological father is trying, maybe try a bit back? Can it hurt to have 2 fathers who give a crap? A lot of guys would like to have just one.
Peace <3
Jay
Hello Lee
ReplyDeleteIt's true that your dad should have told you about his health problems, but, if it's what it sounds like, it's similar to something I've got and which is kept under control with 2 pills a day - I take my pills in the morning, and then go about my life as normal. I've been on the medication for 4 years, and the condition hasn't got any worse, so your dad is probably right in saying it's treatable. I hope so, for both your sakes.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Lee regardless of how you would take it, those sort of things are always hard to talk about - it can take time before the person can come to grips with it themselves, let alone tell any one else.
ReplyDeleteHave a good weekend
Stef.
I hope your anger subdues... i really think your dad might just not have, wanted to seem weak in front of you or hadn't really come to terms with his health problems, so he couldn't really find a way to shar it with you. I can understand your anger that he wouldn't have told you, and it's good that you had Martin to turn to, to help you deal with things.
ReplyDeleteHoping you feel better.
thanks for the comments I did apologise to my dad for getting mad maybe i was self centered
ReplyDeletea bit but I hate the thought of loosing someone like my dad or any part of my life. Sammy thanks for your support am hoping it`s going to be similar but dad still needs some tests we will see again thanks for all your comments
Lee xxx
It's a man thing, Lee. My Dad is long gone now. He died from his second heart attack, but he never even told me about the first (I was living away from home when it happened).
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that your Dad has sought help - I'm sure my Dad would have been fine if he had done so.
Like Sammy, I too was diagnosed with problems about 3 years ago and I take 3 tablets each day and am fine now. I do 3 miles on the treadmill at the gym every weekday without any difficulty and I'm pretty sure your Dad will be just fine.
As for your anger - I wouldn't worry about it - its just an indication of how much you do care about your Dad, despite what you may have said. Your family are clearly very special to you - and that's the reason why I like to read your blog.
R
Lee,
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts an prayers to your Dad.
:-)
Love,
-Andy